Avoiding vs. Striving: My Work/Life Shift

Image courtesy of Skeletor is Love. Need inspiration? He's your man. http://skeletorislove.tumblr.com/

I’ve been reading “The Desire Map” by Danielle LaPorte.  I’m a newly christened FanGRRRRL. This is important to note because I’m staunchly anti-self-help. I have no interest in getting in touch with my inner goddess, I avoid becoming one with my “wind”, or discovering my cheese.  Plainly, I’m a skeptic.  

But, I want to be clear, I’m a strong believer in improving oneself. Getting better and badder is part of my life mission. So, when I attended a Camp Souldust and was introduced to the idea of “creating goals with soul”, I was sold. The core of the book/workbook turns goal setting on it’s head.  It focuses on how you want to feel when you achieve goals and success instead of what you want to achieve.  So many people spend their lives acquiring, achieving, and checking boxes, yet still feel empty afterwards.  What if you focused on how you want to feel?  How would that change your goals?  Your choices?  Your life directions?

As I said, I’m a FanGRRRL.  It’s real.

Why do you care?

Great question!  Those feelings that we want to feel are encapsulated in “Core Desired Feelings”.  Currently, mine are: MIGHTY, MAGICAL, GRACIOUS, and AUDACIOUS.

That’s all the good stuff.  Just as important is the bad stuff… the feelings I want to avoid. Here are my Core UNDESIRED Feelings:  GUILT, OBLIGATION, and TRAPPED

I’m naturally motivated by avoiding those negative feelings… and it turns out that when I avoid those feelings and head towards my positive emotional goal posts, I feel instantly better.  

As I transition my perspective away from avoiding bad feelings and focus on leading with good feelings, I’m seeing the way that I choose business, build partnerships, and make money, shifts.  I choose clients that bring me joy. The time I spend on their work is a pleasure.  The more joy I have in my work, the happier I am. The happier I am, the more patient I am as a parent and I’m more loving as a partner.  Being a better parent and partner helps me avoid the guilt that comes with impatience and unearned impatience.

Who wins?  EVERYONE.

My journey has begun a few months ago and it’s already helping to direct my effort, my heart and my head in a new direction and I’m pretty excited about it.  Maybe you need a fresh start too?  

• Souldust – An open-hearted community offering Retreats, Workshops, Travel Journeys and Coaching to those looking to live in brilliant technicolor
  
• The Desire Map – A guide to creating goals with soul
  

(I am not being compensated for any of these words.  This has just worked for me and I believing on sharing good tools.)