I’ve been reading “The Desire Map” by Danielle LaPorte. I’m a newly christened FanGRRRRL. This is important to note because I’m staunchly anti-self-help. I have no interest in getting in touch with my inner goddess, I avoid becoming one with my “wind”, or discovering my cheese. Plainly, I’m a skeptic.
But, I want to be clear, I’m a strong believer in improving oneself. Getting better and badder is part of my life mission. So, when I attended a Camp Souldust and was introduced to the idea of “creating goals with soul”, I was sold. The core of the book/workbook turns goal setting on it’s head. It focuses on how you want to feel when you achieve goals and success instead of what you want to achieve. So many people spend their lives acquiring, achieving, and checking boxes, yet still feel empty afterwards. What if you focused on how you want to feel? How would that change your goals? Your choices? Your life directions?
As I said, I’m a FanGRRRL. It’s real.
Why do you care?
Great question! Those feelings that we want to feel are encapsulated in “Core Desired Feelings”. Currently, mine are: MIGHTY, MAGICAL, GRACIOUS, and AUDACIOUS.
That’s all the good stuff. Just as important is the bad stuff… the feelings I want to avoid. Here are my Core UNDESIRED Feelings: GUILT, OBLIGATION, and TRAPPED
I’m naturally motivated by avoiding those negative feelings… and it turns out that when I avoid those feelings and head towards my positive emotional goal posts, I feel instantly better.
As I transition my perspective away from avoiding bad feelings and focus on leading with good feelings, I’m seeing the way that I choose business, build partnerships, and make money, shifts. I choose clients that bring me joy. The time I spend on their work is a pleasure. The more joy I have in my work, the happier I am. The happier I am, the more patient I am as a parent and I’m more loving as a partner. Being a better parent and partner helps me avoid the guilt that comes with impatience and unearned impatience.
Who wins? EVERYONE.
My journey has begun a few months ago and it’s already helping to direct my effort, my heart and my head in a new direction and I’m pretty excited about it. Maybe you need a fresh start too?
(I am not being compensated for any of these words. This has just worked for me and I believing on sharing good tools.)
During my walk this morning, I discovered that my mouth was set in a determined line. I had my spine stacked in forced confidence. And my walk was the definition of grim efficiency. I’ve found myself in a place where my effort and time is spread around to my projects and people like chips on a craps table. I gamble that the choices I made have paid off. I’m grateful there are a few sure bets like family, but the chips are stacked a little higher in places that help pay our mortgage, and the rest are just hope. Hope and time.
I work hard to take full responsibility for the choices I’ve made while simultaneously sloughing off any responsibility that I don’t need to take on. It’s hot in here. This is adulting.
When the weight of the day feels like a heavy pack, it’s time to re-evaluate the places where you put those units of time and effort. As Danielle LaPorte will say, living your dream doesn’t mean there isn’t hard work. But, the trick is ensuring that projects and people you bet on helps fill your soul so that, heaven forbid, you died tomorrow, you regret nothing. Know that, as you pick through the tasks and daily obligations, that all of those efforts feed a machine that is worth running.
Make space to work on works that work.
I'm a veteran digital marketer whose career has grown up with the Internet.